2月5日

今天焦虑了一晚上，被一个自己营造的误会给拯救了一点儿回来：
原本今天需要完成的学习计划，结果一整天下来，到晚上8点左右，仍然是状态不佳。做题一点点吃，吃了五道题，就觉得痛苦异常。然后想说，莫非自己的计划第一天，就要被自己打败了吗。绝望之余，打开自己列的计划本，赫然看到日期自己写成了2月8日。一瞬间，那么一瞬间，真的觉得自己被什么拯救了一下，觉得这多出来的几天让自己又重新获得了生机似的。于是，不敢怠慢，匆匆细细列出周一的计划，到点到滴，完了再把2月8日改成2月6日。
这样的状况，这样的心理压力，已经持续了有一个月了。一个月，似乎是做了不少事情，但是却根本无暇回顾。只能看着前方有着更多需要开凿的山路。还不能看远，看远了会觉得生命不够用。只能看这一周。当然，从现在往下数，18个礼拜了只剩，细细满满，全部都铺了。
还得努力多走快一点。虽然也不能过劳死对吧，但是，真的要走得再快一点，再快一点。你的目标，真的是非常远大的。能不能实现是一回事儿，那毕竟是基于你现在的每一步所决定的。所以啊，不要再浪费你的生命和脑容量，去幻想一些还没有实现的梦吧。
做梦的话，醒了之后会很失落的。所以说啊，别做梦，做题吧。。。

LSAT的考试还剩18周。我也不大敢去细嚼自己失恋的情绪，也一直都没有仔细去咽下。很多开的痕迹都还在。说实话，暂且也不大容许自己有时间去细嚼这个情绪。。。

晚安啊马新源。加油呀马新源。

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