距离上一次写blog大约一周左右。这两天一直在看小北的博客。大我10岁左右的前辈，从申请法学院的时候开始做记录。那时候的我刚入大学。依稀可以回想起曾经大一大二的点滴。
然后就发现，自己想去的HYS实在是遥不可及。会想到瓜当初的申请，还有zhujia的申请。比较起来，就觉得根本无从企及。心有戚戚。
如果说要想法子弥补本科和硕士的GPA，那么PhD阶段需要做出篇像样点的paper 吧。四大名著也是分高下的。比起CNS，PNAS或许更加现实一点。但是学术圈依旧需要付出极大的努力。看了一圈PNAS的文章，工作量依旧巨大。Phylogeny这方面的研究并不多，但是如果要从这个里面挖掘一些新颖有意义的东西出来，又不是容易的事。
然后。。。摊手。忽然就感觉自己和当初的当初，之前两次投简历申请一样，又回到了一个自我审视怀疑批评纠结的过程。
我也在想，试图去读JD的路径，是否是自己为了图省事。是否是在逃避工作的压力？但似乎工作对我来说带来的恐惧感，其实是比读书带来的恐惧感更强的。但反过来，这是我尚为获得任何阶段性鱼饵的状况。可能不借助那些education而直接工作去闯荡，又实际会更加困难？
说不清楚。就是不希望自己对待生活的态度是逃避的状态。
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